Self love Sunday…

I wanted to take the opportunity to write a post about something that I’ve personally struggled with a lot in the past; loving myself and working on overcoming my anxiety.

I  spent a big proportion of my life in long term relationships, so when I found myself single three years ago, self-love wasn’t something that came naturally to me. This became more challenging with my anxiety and if I’m honest initially seemed like an impossible journey.

Through my blog readers and speaking with friends, from all walks of life (whether married with children, single, travelling, city living, young, old etc.) I have realised that this journey is something everyone struggles with at some stage in their life. Self love (and even just understanding yourself) is a constant journey and a tough one at times! As such, I wanted to share some of my learnings and hope that if someone else is struggling, some of my experience can help them too. Enjoy! X


Don’t be frustrated if you don’t know what sets you on fire. 

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I spent so much time trying to work out what I enjoyed doing and what I was truly passionate about. I went to different gyms, classes (horticulture, make up, immersive theatre – don’t ask), shopping, nights out, eating out etc. The list is endless. I eventually started to get frustrated when I wasn’t finding a real connection to anything that I was doing.

After about a year of trying to work out what I liked, I realised that the pressure of trying to work that out was actually deriving any joy that I would have perhaps got in the first place. As such, I took the pressure off myself and lone behold found out what I love (I’ll give you one guess as to what that is). I’ve also learned that what I enjoy changes and that’s okay, people grow all the time and once I accepted that, I was far more content. So try lots of new things, you’ll never regret a new experience (unless you try immersive theatre) and keep the pressure off yourself.

Give your life a “trim”

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Cutting out what makes you unhappy was and still is the most challenging change for me to make. A lot of things that made me happy 12 months ago, don’t necessarily make me happy today.

I think being able to say “no” to things and people is something that develops over time and with experience. I’m noticing that the older I’m getting, the less shit I’m taking. So whether it’s the night out and drinks you really can’t be bothered with, the job you sit in and don’t enjoy, the friends that aren’t particularly there for you or the Prince Charming that messages you with “wyd” at 1am; give them the cut. (In fact, go grim reaper on the WYD dude)

Social Media and Social Norms “Cleansing”

Whether you are fully self assured or the most insecure person on the earth, today’s world ensures that there is an element of pressure on every person to be the best. Be in the best shape, Look perfect every day, Wear the nicest clothes, Drink the skinny tea, Wear the chicken fillet push up bra (honestly how many of them are there out there?) Is it just me that sometimes feels that I’m the odd one out because I’m not promoting Misguided bikinis on a beach in Ibiza? No? Great.

On a serious note, I can’t deny, I am a huge fan of social media and the bloggers I follow are those that really push positivity and self love. However, no matter how hard I try, there are some days when social media and the pressure of social norms really get to me.

I have found there are two things that really help me when I feel like this.

1. Digital detox

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I know, the horror of it, but trust me, somedays it’s the best thing. If I am ever having a down day, I switch off all my social media. There is just no point in spending a day looking at other peoples lives as you will naturally compare and that isn’t healthy. I always feel better after a day of digital detox and surprisingly the world hasn’t changed.

2. Challenge Social norms 

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Another pressure that I feel quite regularly is the pressure to live my life in a certain way. I can’t count the amount of times that I have been at a family event only to be asked “So, any man on the scene?” or “Don’t you think about kids”. Usually I’m questioned on this by 50 year Susan. When I explain to Susan that I am quite happy just as I am, I receive an sympathetic glance with a “At least you have your career though” (As if that is a bad thing). Note. Susan’s husband Dave’s eyes have been glued to my breasts for the whole evening.

Eat Well, Sleep Well and Work-out well

As simple as this may sound, if you are in a bad place or feeling a bit lost; always try and hold on to a minimum of the above three things. I always find that if one of them slips my anxiety sets in motion and then I have trouble doing the basics (let alone loving myself).

1. Sleeping

My sleeping really takes a horrible toll when I have been through stress or I am feeling a bit lost. I also really struggle with motivation in the mornings when anxiety hits. I am sure most people would agree that without sleep, things seem worse than they are. A couple of things that have helped me

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Okay, so it sounds slightly hippy but this has been my life saver. Valerian Root Tea is £2.50 from Holland and Barrett and I actually get a peaceful nights sleep. Try it if you don’t believe me.

Morning Meme Motivator

So this one is personal, I have amazing friends and when we are going through bad times we send meme’s and quotes to one another all the time. One particular friend of mine sends me quotes from Najwa Zebian (link in my Instagram) and she is by far one of my favourite’s in a morning.

2. Eating

Since embarking on training a couple of years ago my diet has changed (massively for the better), I initially started eating well to improve my physical appearance but after actually starting to see slight changes in my mood from my diet, I decided to look into things further.

I now eat clean as this supports my anxiety in a massive way. While I am an advocate of clean eating I am also not going to sit here and say you must eat avocado’s everyday, if you having a pizza over a weekend makes you happy; do it (I certainly do) but I would encourage clean eating; it really helps.

The two main books I live by are Medical Medium; this book is massively “out there” as it talks about the spirituality of food and it’s healing powers (super hippy I know). I personally had to take some parts with a pinch of salt, but picking out some elements of this book has made a huge difference to my anxiety and I would highly recommend. The second is Clean Eating Alice’s Body Bible; amazing recipe’s and I admire her attitude (plus she is little like me!)

3. Working out

It goes without saying that exserice actually makes us feel better. Every time you work out, your body releases endorphins (a morphine like chemical that is released after periods of intense exercise). Endorphins work as part of the brains “reward system” and will help lift your mood. Face it, you’ve never got to the end of a work out and though “I wish I hadn’t done that”

My only piece of advice would be find something you truly enjoy doing. Whether it be running, spinning, personal training, yoga, boot camps or a mix. Make sure you love it! Exercise has really helped me overcome my anxiety and others that I know. One person I would recommend a follow of is Rebecca Jayne Fitness (link in my Insta). She has an amazing journey and story around exercise and mental well being and would recommend a follow.

As I said, I am certainly no guru on self love, but I hope if you are going through a rough time or struggling with the above, some of my experience helps.

Dating post on Oscar to follow tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!

B x

 

 

 

 

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Podcast: Put Down Your Phone – Social Media and the Mind

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Last week we recorded a podcast on social media and how this impacts your mental well being. As a group of girls in our late twenties we feel that our generation have been privileged (or maybe not so privileged) to have seen the world both before and after the trends of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat.

In this cast we discuss “The Gathering Crisis”, the live for likes, Face-tuning, blogging, networks, communities and how we feel social media has impacted our mental well being.

As always, thanks for reading and listening.

Enjoy, B x

 

How Your Muscles Help Your Mind

From a young age, we are taught about the human anatomy. In fact, one of my earliest childhood memories is my primary school science class. I vividly remember sitting at my table incredibly excited that finally the day had come for my class to learn about the human body. I appreciate at this point in the post you may have the impression that I was some young, eager intellect, let me assure you, this was not the case. The main reason I sat, wound up like a giddy coil about the anatomy class was, as part of my teachers attempt to engage us in the subject we got to play…. 

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OPERATION! 

Does anyone remember that epic game?

I mean, in retrospect, I wonder how appropriate it actually was for Mrs. Gregory to make nine year olds pull a middle aged mans penis out from his body in the name of anatomy but anywhoooo…

As we pulled out the defected pieces of our poorly patient, I remember raising my hand to ask Mrs. Gregory a question

“Misssssssss. I have pulled out all of his pieces. Why can’t I pull out his brain?” 

Mrs Gregory answered and for some reason her response has forever stayed with me. 

“Rebecca, the brain is far too important to be simply removed. The brain looks after everything from your fingers to your toes, your muscles, you feelings and your thoughts. If you didn’t have your brain, you simply wouldn’t work”

At the time, I remember being highly impressed with my brain and the amazing things that Mrs. Gregory said it could do. I thought about it a lot, I remember flexing my fingers and my toes and congratulating my brains achievements, I remember crying at the rather brutal ending of Homewood Bound (#nostalgia) and again feeling rather impressed that my brain was the reason I shed a tear, but the most vivid memory I possess was not just the feeling of admirability but of feeling rather worried (even as a child). I feared, that my brain, as Mrs. Gregory had said, would one day, just disappear. The thought of my brain simply failing to function meaning everything else would also cease to work, well, as I naive nine year old – it scared the heeby jeebies out of me!

Fast forward twenty years and the thought of ones brain simply failing to work is now no longer a silly childhood fear but at times a very harsh reality . As a person that has lived with anxiety for a long time, when I have suffered challenging bouts of the condition, it feels as though my logical brain has actually disappeared and everything has indeed followed suit and stopped working. What Mrs Gregory had said was true! 

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If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will know that over recent years I have learned to manage my anxiety through different means and now (a little older than nine) I still find the brain incredibly fascinating but for very different reasons. As I mentioned, Mrs Gregory’s words stayed with me, a couple of them now more present than ever before…

“The brain looks after everything from your fingers to your toes, your muscles, you feelings and your thoughts”

She was right, it truly does. Our brains have a tough old job of taking care of everything that our bodies throw at it. Now as a nine year old, I merely assumed that the brain was so incredible it would just keep going, the reality is (a bit like the reality that brains can’t disappear) is that our wonderful brains need some tender loving care and all those muscles and limbs that it takes care of, well, they are actually just as powerful and can give a little back when our think tanks become overwhelmed. 

I am, of course, talking about one of the major coping mechanisms I have come to love and has been key to managing my anxiety: EXERCISE. 

Exercise has been one of the most prevalent activities in enabling me to manage my anxiety. This is not just situational but for the long term too! As such, I wanted to share some of my thoughts, experiences and tips to inform and guide you into something that will hopefully help you, like it helped me.

Why working out?

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Look, no matter where you sit on the spectrum of fitness, there is no wrong way or wrong time to start helping better your mind through fitness. The main reason I initially started to focus on my fitness was not because I wanted to win medals, it was solely to do with how it made me feel. Fitness is truly living in the moment. As a person with anxiety, there is no better feeling than not pondering over the past or fretting over the future, being in that moment whether I am in a class, running, on my bike, I am in that moment and there isn’t an awful lot of time I get to feel that way. 

The Endorphin High

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Aside from the mindful benefits of enabling your brain to “live in the moment” it is scientifically proven that working out lifts your mood. Exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. 

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I mean, if you can’t trust the wise words of Elle Woods, who can you trust? 

On a serious note, if you want to get into the real juicy detail around the science of how endorphins work get onto How Stuff Works and have a read or listen to the podcast, it’s super interesting and really showcases why our brains are so phenomenal.

Don’t worry if you can’t work out what works you out!

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Did you go to the gym, completely confuse yourself with the machines and feel totally out of place? Or did you hit up that Zumba class and hide embarrassed at the back feeling uncoordinated? Or did you go out on a run and find yourself panting against a wall after ten minutes…

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Don’t worry, it takes time to work out what you enjoy in the world of exercise. I have been to countless classes, joined gym after gym and tried (and failed) at so many hobbies. What works for me, could be a total dud for you, so take your time and find your passion. 

Start small

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Okay, maybe not as small as Carrie, but you know where I’m going.

If you are anything like me with your anxiety challenges, you will likely fear failure, so go in hard at most things. Or you could be on the total opposite end of the spectrum and your anxiety may hinder you getting out and about. However your anxiety effects you, I would advise starting small with your workout plan, try and avoid the desire to go in 100% initially so you don’t overwhelm yourself. 

The little lull

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As much as exercise has truly helped lift my mood, there have been a few occasions post work out where I have experienced a low feeling.

After panicking something was wrong (obviously), I did what every anxiety sufferer does and conducted an extensive internet search on my little lull. On this occasion, the search was a productive one and turned out, after a period of intense exercise, my body was experiencing low blood glucose levels. If you experience this, don’t panic (no pun), this is an extremely common side affect 24 hour after a particularly intense exercise sesh! The post-exercise hypoglycemia is often referred to as the “lag effect” and can be easily countered by ensuring you eat a sugary snack after your workout. So, my advice, stock up on apples and protein bars, the last thing we want is to feel sad. 

Lastly… Enjoy, don’t over do!

If your work out plan starts to feel obsessive or, for whatever reason, stops making you happy, change it up or take it down a notch or two. 

Remember, exercising is a mechanism to help your mental well being and that is how it should stay. 

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I hope you guys have enjoyed this read. Next week, as part of my fitness plan and exploring new ways to help improve my wellbeing, I will be writing a post about my experience trying a month of Veganism! 

As always thanks for reading. 

Passion and Purpose

In one of my earlier posts around self love, I touched briefly on understanding yourself and what you love. I am still a firm believer, that understanding your passion, provides purpose and having purpose is key to a happy and healthy mind.

As I’m nearing the big 3-0, I’ve noticed that the desire to understand who I am and what I am passionate about has become more significant than ever before and something I no longer can or want to ignore.

As that desire grew, I felt that I needed to talk to people around me to ensure I wasn’t going crazy. Turns out, I’m not the only person to feel this way and the more I continued to speak with people around me, the more apparent it has become that passion is a subject, that everyone, in some way, connects to. 

I speak to friends who feel deflated by their work; they are people that strived admirably to carve fantastic careers and have reached that goal, only then to feel a sense of dissatisfaction. 

I speak to friends who have only ever desired a partner or children and when they finally sit behind the perfect white picket fence they have built, feel trapped and as though they have lost their individuality. They crave their own passion, that they don’t have to share.

I speak with friends who feel when their feet aren’t moving, not in the literal sense, but if they aren’t flying from country to country, hopping from one adventure to the next, that they are confined and not achieving. 

And then there is how I feel (and I am sure many others); I enjoy my job, I have amazing people around me, I have hobbies that I enjoy but there is something… well… missing. 

The only way I can describe the sensation is similar to that of a small burning flame; you can feel something is there but it hasn’t quite set alight. I believe that flame is passion and no matter where you are in life that passion is what defines, differentiates and gives you purpose. 

I believe finding passion is an ongoing journey and I am certainly still on mine. Not understanding where you see your career, what you love, your future or even where you sit in the world can sometimes be overwhelming and the reality is, it’s a challenging puzzle to solve.

The pressure of solving this puzzle is ever hindered by social media and consumerism. They play a huge part in us being disconnected from our true selves and what we are passionate about. We are constantly pedalled to by the likes of Instagram and Facebook what should make us happy and how we should live our lives. You see beaches, products, happiness, perfection and the reality of this is, it’s not reality.

Because of this, I have found myself in a place where I feel slightly lost and I want to define what truly makes me happy. As I go along this journey, I want to share with you my experiences (as always a pretty honest and uncut version). So, I hope you enjoy the posts that follow, as always, over-sharing all the fads I pursue! 

In the short time I have been actively pursuing what my passion is, I have learned a few things and as this is my first post in this subject, I wanted to share my little survivors guide that is helping me through my journey and is a reminder to be authentic.

Failure is a finding 

There have been so many things I have tried and failed at. Being a bit of a perfectionist means that when this happens, I probably don’t take it too gracefully. 

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I always remind myself, that in searching for something I am passionate about means I will probably come across things I am not all that good at and that’s totally okay…. (I repeat to myself)

Taking the time out 

Remember the saying “slowly slowly catchy monkey”. No? Well I do, because my Grandma always reminds me of it (being impatient and all). Not all loves are an immediate spark, so, when you try something new make sure you also pursue! Not everything is fireworks initially, that doesn’t mean you can’t be passionate about it.

Make space for your own dream

We all have things that get in the way of pursuing our passions; jobs, partners, children, life. It is so easy to be drawn into that project, or your children’s hobbies, or your partners dreams. Remember to always make space for your own dream.

Comparison is a killer…

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It really is.

Don’t worry about the amount of likes and followers you have or what other people are doing around you. Your journey is your journey and watching someone else on their’s will only distract you from your own destination. 

Only follow what sets your soul on fire

Again, it is so easy to follow the crowd. When you are trying something new, seriously ask yourself if you are doing it because you love it or because everybody else is doing it? If that little fire isn’t burning, probably best you put it out. 

I hope you enjoyed this post and I am looking forward to sharing my experiences with you. 

As always, thanks for reading. 

B x

Podcast Six: Mental Health and Relationships

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For anyone who is a regular reader of my blog, you will know how close mental health is to my heart.

I have lived (I dislike the word suffered) with Generalised Anxiety Disorder for a long time. In fact, I can’t actually remember a time where I haven’t had to manage and at times battle with my thought processes and emotions.

Although there is a never-ending debate as to whether mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, OCD, eating disorders, bipolar etc. are a result of nurture or nature (I am totally aligned with the notion that it is an amalgamation of the two) at some point in any one persons life, we have all felt the pinch of our sometimes (very unhelpful) brains. Whether that is looking in the mirror and not liking who looks back, feeling lonely, lost, lacking purpose, worried, not sleeping well, addictions … we have all probably suffered a symptom or bout of feeling mentally overwhelmed. And in a society that constantly drives the tools to compare ourselves with others, projects a false sense of perfectionism and drives us away from our true selves, it isn’t a wonder mental well being is at an all time low.

Over the last three years, I have truly managed to understand and accept myself as a person and rather than fight and become frustrated with what some would see as a flaw, I  have embraced my anxiety, who I am and become the best version of myself.

I could talk forever about mental health as it is truly something that lies close to me and a subject, that I believe, although we claime live and breathe acceptance, is a false projection of an accepting society and is still stigmatised.

As such, we decided to run a Podcast on mental health (and relationships). Due to our experiences we went completely off topic around the relationship element and I think this Podcast is a pretty raw, uncut and honest view of mental health (potentially what people who live with conditions wouldn’t want hear) but truly incapsulates why there is still a very real stigma and unconscious bias in this subject.

Please enjoy, it has been my favourite cast to date!

B x

 

Self care – Taking a break!

Hey guys! Thanks for coming back to read one of my #selfloveclub posts. So, as you are all welllll aware, I’m a pretty open book when it comes to talking about my life, my experiences and learnings (I sometimes wonder if that is a good or bad trait, but have chosen to embrace it none the less).

As well as being honest about my dating life and my move to the city, I’m a huge fan of being open around my previous struggles with anxiety and just generally finding my grounding and sense of self over the years. 

As I have personally experienced anxiety, I struggle with the concept that even in our day and age, there is still such a stigma and lack of understanding around mental health and a lack of openness when it comes to people talking about finding their grounding in themselves or their lives.

A few years back when I was probably at my worst with anxiety, I would worry relentlessly about anything and everything; my family, my job, my future, my health- basically anything that my super brain could find to worry about – it would. Even if my life felt harmonious in every aspect, brain would still be there like …

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“I got something else for you”

Feels. 

Anywhooo, as time has passed and I’ve learned to understand me and accept who I am, managing my anxiety and just general self value has increased massively and there has been no looking back.

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Nope.

Over the last few years, One of the main things I have learned about myself and wanted to write about is THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING A BREAK. When I suffered with anxiety my crutch was to busy myself so much that my brain would stop thinking (logic much), I would work, I would train, I would write, I would run and I would party without coming up for air. 

Eventually and always I would hit a major wall. 

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And trust me, it was never pretty. 

As such, I learned and continue to learn when to stop, unwind and take time out for me, in a real way. While I appreciate for me, I struggle to know when to stop, I know many anxiety sufferers struggle to start (don’t worry, we’ve all had those horrible mornings) and so, I wanted to write a post and share my experiences around how to give yourself a break, no matter how you struggle and hopefully my tips can help you, like they helped me. Plus, it would be rude to not talk about a break while I’m out here in LA, hey? 

Enjoy …

Getting your life in order. 

Now I don’t know about you, but there is no way I can truly relax knowing I have things left to do before a break…

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Whether that’s a work email, laundry, bills to pay – if I don’t do it, my brain will only remind me about it while I’m trying to relax. My advice: get your general life admin done before taking time out to relax. Prepping yourself to chill seems a little backwards, but in reality, it isn’t. You wouldn’t work out without warming up the muscles first right?

On the flip side, if you struggle to get through your life admin, I would suggest writing a to do list and break it down to maybe two key tasks a day. Makes it seem a little less scary! 

Environment Change is Key.

I hear a lot of people make excuses around changing up their environment; it’s too expensive, travelling aggravates my anxiety further, it doesn’t make any difference to how I feel etc. and truth is – I hear ya! There are millions of reasons that we could stay in a familiar environment to try and relax but in reality the only way you will truly be able to disconnect and relax is to be out of your usual environment. Trust me, new places are good for you and exciting…

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Of course, if you can afford quick beach break away – get on that plane, yesterday. If not, there are so many great cheap breaks away in the UK and if you really can’t afford it – visit a friend or family for a couple of days. Trust me, seeing a different environment is key when you need to truly unwind. 

Digital Detox 

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I know horrifying. 

Erm… so this is definitely an ongoing working progress for me and not something I can really preach on (but I am trying!) but getting away from you phone, social media and emails is so key to switching off. It’s no real secret I’m a social media fan but when I truly need to take a break, I do (try) and put my phone away. If I’m honest, after about an hour…

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But I’m not dramatic, promise. 

If you are like me and struggle to disconnect from the world of social media and work emails. Try baby steps, I have minimum 1 hour a morning and 1 hour an evening where I don’t touch my phone and I’m aiming towards a no screen Sunday (I would rather run a marathon) but you’ve got to challenge yourself right? I will be writing a post on my experience of digital detox soon – look out for it! (If you would like to laugh) and try it yourself! 

Get back in touch with what matters

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Now, I’m not going to go all hippy on you guys here (with my commitment to my local beauty salon it would be smidgen hypocritical of me) but I can’t stress how much getting back in touch with nature helps relax the mind (well for me personally). 

Whenever I am away (or at home), I get outdoors. So whether that is running in the park, surfing in the sea, outdoor yoga, skiing in the slopes – getting back in touch with mother nature is always strangely calming and sometimes I don’t even realise how relaxed it actually makes me until afterwards. Couple being outdoors with some exercise, you’re onto an endorphin high – go nuts on it. 

Give you brain a break! 

So, following your “to do” list being ticked off, getting on the beach and giving yourself an endorphin overload; your brain will likely be buzzing around and if you are anything like me, I struggle to switch it off.

Something that has helped me incredibly is meditating (jeez, I can’t kick that hippy out of me). For anyone that hasn’t tried meditation (or is a little skeptical), I can’t recommend it highly enough. I have been meditating for a year now (on and off) and have found it calms my thoughts so much. 

I know what you’re thinking right? Meditating, that must be the key, it’s here to save us! (and it kind of is to some extent) however achieving inner calm (even for a minute) is pretty damn tough. To switch off our brains completely and get in touch with our breathing isn’t something that comes naturally, especially when your brain looks like this;

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My advice, try Head Space. This app is baby steps to achieving a meditative state and introduces you to developing this skill in small daily doses. It has really helped me and now I can actually attend a 30 minute meditation class without a struggle. Trust me, try it if nothing else from this post.

Give your body a break!

This piece of advice is pretty broad as each individual and how you fuel and keep your body fit varies. But by a general rule of thumb, my advice, when taking a break – do the opposite of what you usually do. Of course, this is to a lesser extent and by no means to be taken too literally,  trust me, if all you do is train and eat avocados switching up and lying on a beach for a week and eating nothing but cake, ain’t gonna make ya feel great. 

What I mean by opposite, are things like; if you are a hardcore gym goer, maybe try a day where you don’t go as hard and treat yourself to that slice of (not whole) cake. On the flip side, if you are someone that struggles to exercise or maybe you just love a glass of wine, why not try a run down the beach or try a night on the orange juice (as boring as that may sound). 

As I said, this is a pretty broad subject and can be so different for each individual that it is tough. Understanding your body and how to better your well being is also an on-going journey and one I’ll be sharing (keep an eye out for an upcoming post on my Vegan experience) and remember, giving your body a break doesn’t nesaccarly mean being super healthy and fit, sometimes it can be the complete opposite and actually toning it down a little. 

Anyway’s guys, I hope the above tips help when taking a break and what has helped me switch off, helps you to too. It took a while for me to learn how to totally relax, so even if you do still struggle to switch off  initially or stress when you take a break, don’t worry – even if you worry for a minute or an hour less than you would have originally – it’s progress – keep going! 

Thanks for reading and remember – relax!

B x

Why being in a relationship with YOU is the best kind of relationship…

Now ladies, I love a Disney film as much as the next girl but some days I think good old Walt has an awful lot to answer for when it comes to our view on how our “fairy tale” ending should look.

In fact, I remember sitting on the floor, an innocent six year old, head in hands, draped in my oversized princess dress, staring gooey eyed and mesmerised by the television as Prince Charming placed the glass slipper onto Cinderella’s dainty foot and saved her from her evil step mother.  Six year old me was besotted and just knew that one day my Prince Charming would come along and we would live happily ever after…

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Fast forward 20 years and it appears Disney  finally understand who Prince Charming really is…

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Face it ladies, I’ve come to realise the only person who’s coming to save me, is me. And I’m not sure about you, but it seems that in a world that promotes the importance of loving ones self, there is still a very real stigma around being single.

So, if you are a happy single, independent woman (or man), but sometimes feel the pressure of social norms and expectations getting you down, I wrote this post to remind you of the reasons it is truly great to be single and why you are awesome! Enjoy x

Being truly comfortable in your own skin

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As silly as this statement may sound, some people really struggle to find happiness in their own company and themselves (if they ever actually find it at all). So if you feel pretty content spending a night in on your own or spending a day just doing your own thing. You, my friend, are already a pretty impressive individual.

2. You are stronger than the average

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That time you travelled alone? Dealt with that big bad credit card bill? (mayyyyybe called mum but whatevs)? Got the new job? Moved house? You did all of that without a shoulder to cry on, that makes you pretty awesome.

3. Single Nights Out are the best… 

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(I cried at the Gif)

I don’t even have to explain, you know it, I know it – they just are, for every reason.

And more importantly, single nights in…

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Zero make up, zero effort , your choice in Netflix, your choice in takeaway, ugly pyjamas, star fish. Done.

Your time is your own – Invest in you 

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After being in relationship that wasn’t right, I noticed that all my time and investment went into trying to fix something that was never fixable. My favourite thing about being single is all the time I have to invest in me. Whether you throw yourself into fitness, a new hobby, a project, you are never going to feel bad giving yourself back all that owed time. Trust me, making yourself happy is more fulfilling than anybody else doing it for you.

Being gross 

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You have no obligation to; wax, stay skinny, wear make-up, wear matching underwear, wash your hair or keep your room tidy.

Wait… why am I single again?

Jokes, for anyone that knows me, I loved getting glammed up but I certainly wouldn’t want to admit how long I haven’t washed my hair for (#dryshampooislife)

Family & Friends time 

Apart from investing in yourself and being gross spend time with the important people in your life. The ones who genuinely make you smile and hold you up when you are having a wobble.

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First dates

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As long as you are in a place to, dating is so much fun (for lots of reasons). Not every guy you meet is going to be your happily ever after, but, face it, there are lots of Prince Charming’s out there for you to have fun along the way with.

Drama free!

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My personal favourite! When you cut out all of the negative influences in your life (check out my post on Self Love for tips on how to do this). Isn’t it lovely how peaceful and drama free life can be? I intend to keep it that way.

Basically ladies, as lovely as it would be to meet your Prince Charming, don’t forget that with or without him by your side you are still a Princess and should treat yourself as such and remember, sometimes your happy ending, just ends with beautiful YOU!

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Thanks for reading!

B

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